UI Playwright Cameron Reflects on Ex-Gay Therapy and His Latest Work

University of Iowa playwright John Cameron says his new play “14,” which examines his experiences with “reparative therapy” 30 years ago at Brigham Young University, was therapeutic — or at least helped initiate his own therapeutic journey.

In the mid-’70s Cameron was one of 14 gay men, most of them Mormon students, who were the subjects of a controversial “reparative therapy” experiment at Brigham Young that used electro-shock aversion therapy in an attempt to alter their homosexual behavior.

Cameron’s “14,” which completed its world-premiere run last weekend at the University Theatre’s Mainstage in Iowa City, takes a hard look at the experiment and its effects on his life. Sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking, this disturbing tale examines one man’s journey to find truth and ultimately the forgiveness that only he can give.

Read Iowa Independent’s exclusive interview with John Cameron below the fold.Set in the year 2000, “14″ follows the events that unravel after a college professor, Ron Sorenson, is contacted by a young lesbian journalist who has discovered he was one of the 14 subjects. Mirroring Cameron’s real-life experiences, Sorenson talks to the journalist and is forced to face the mistakes of the past, and his life begins to fall apart as he enters a world of dark and sometimes funny memories, violence, music — and the visceral horror of the experiment.

Cameron, who heads the UI’s acting program, describes himself as a closeted playwright. “I’ve got a drawer full of plays, but I’ve always written them just to work out my own demons,” Cameron told the Iowa Independent. “I just enjoyed the act of writing, so I’ve never tried to promote them before.”

Cameron admits that it was his experiences directing plays, rather than acting, that helps him with play writing. “When I’m writing, I frequently visualize very clearly what’s happening on the stage. It helps me keep clear in my head what really going on and what’s possible, and what affects the audience,” Cameron said. “Generally I haven’t directed plays I’ve written before ’14.’ The problem with a lot of playwrights is they are not directors, so they don’t necessarily know how to bring the play out.”

Now that the initial run of “14″ is behind him, Cameron had a chance to reflect with the Iowa Independent before tackling rewrites and sending the play out for future theatrical productions.

Iowa Independent: What were some of the risks of putting the details of your experiences with “reparative therapy” on paper and bringing them to life in front of a room full of strangers?

Cameron: (Laughs) For some reason, it didn’t strike me until the last couple days of the production that all of my students now know my whole sexual history. I don’t feel awkward about that, because I’m not that kind of person. It’s kind of funny. A whole lot of people know a whole hell of a lot about me in this community, and I wasn’t really thinking about this until the end of the run.

Iowa Independent: You took such a big risk to expose yourself to a room full of strangers. How come this did not cross your mind until the process nearly ended?

Cameron: I was actually very engaged in the play, its success and communicating with the audience. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that they were looking at me. Rather, I was focused on the theatrical success of the production. It wasn’t until the last few days of the run that I started realizing what the hell was actually up there on the stage. By the time I started directing this play, I was pretty much past the subject matter. It was all about putting the play up, but now it’s hard to explain how I wasn’t actually thinking about the play’s content.

I was so consumed about getting the play right, I didn’t actually think about what people in the community might think about me.

Iowa Independent: Are you working on anything new, whether it’s a closeted play or otherwise?

Cameron: I’m working on an adaptation of a short story about a Appalachian girl who receives healing powers through her country western radio station. This play is a complete change of pace from “14.” It’s very charming, romantic, and nonviolent.

Iowa Independent: During this whole process from the play’s conception to ending its first runs, what was one of the biggest surprises for you?

Cameron: I was genuinely surprised how interested the people were in the play’s subject matter. We sold out every performance. Considering it’s a first run of a play, I was surprised we sold out opening night, and I was shocked we sold out every night. People had to have been drawn to the play’s subject matter, because they did not know the play. I had been told this subject was important and I needed to get it out there, but I don’t think I fully believed this until I saw how people responded it to it.

Iowa Independent: Who was telling you that you needed to get this play out there?

Cameron: I never thought about writing this play until about seven years ago, when I was approached by a journalist who was writing about gay oppression at BYU. I was surprised to find out that the Rolling Stone and the Village Voice were also interested in this story, and when I told a colleague of mine, she told me that I had some amazing stuff to work with and I needed to write a play. As I began to develop the play, there were people who championed the play and wanted to see it done.

Iowa Independent: Did the Rolling Stone or Village Voice ever contact you for an interview?

Cameron: No, ultimately they did not. Her interview sent my life into a tailspin, and then they didn’t publish the story. Eventually The Advocate published the interview, but they ended up cutting all of the stuff about my experiences at BYU from the interview. So I went through this whole journey, and they never published it. It was a very ironic situation, but in the long run it turned out to be a very good situation for me.

Originally, in either 1999 or 2000, two students had been expelled from BYU because they were accused of being homosexuals, and somehow the interviewer found me while researching for this story. And this interview began an unraveling for me in that I went into a three-year depression.

When I came out the other side of the depression, I started writing the play. The journalist, who I’ve had no contact with since the interview, has no idea how this interview ended changing my life.

Iowa Independent: Given your experiences at BYU, are you still a member or actively involved with the Mormon Church?

Cameron: I stopped being involved with it when I was 29, when I made a conscious choice to move away from the church. I don’t have any animosity toward the Mormon Church. I think, however, they should apologize and admit what they did, and move on. I think it would be a good thing for them to say they were trying to help people out with what they thought was sin and made some unfortunate choices, and we’re sorry for those. I think this would go a long way to make people feel better, but I don’t think this is ever going to happen. In this world, if you apologize, you’re open for lawsuits.

Iowa Independent: A lot of people in America, in particular social conservatives, are so hostile toward gay people. Do you think this hostility is a manifestation of something they are trying to repress on a deeper level?

Cameron: People are afraid of anything that does not mirror them and tell them that they are OK and their life has meaning and value. When they see somebody that doesn’t mirror them and they’re happy and successful in what they are doing, that makes them question their own identity and insecurities. Faced with this, they have two options: You can either let the other person live their life, or you can attack them because they threaten you. This holds true for anything, not just people threatened by gay people. And I don’t think this is ever going to change.

Iowa Independent: Do you see yourself as an activist or a champion for gay rights?

Cameron: No, not at all. I just thought it was a story that just needed to be told. The end of the play ends very abruptly and for a reason. Suddenly the narrator comes out and says all these things about truth and lies until she’s cut off by the main character, who tells her to stop talking to the audience. He turns to the audience and says “She’s not going to talk to you anymore, because I don’t want any morals. I don’t want a nice, neat little ending. I just want the story to be told, so we can move on from here.”

And that’s very much my philosophy. I told the story. I hope people will see the play, and I hope some people learned some things. That’s all I want.